Let’s Give Louis Saha an Image Makeover!

February 21st, 2007 | by: Laurie |

Bleus striker Louis Saha is worried. There’s a lot of competition for the striker positions on the France National Team, and Louis fears that he’s just not flashy enough to stand out.

And you know, he may be right. When you think of “France Striker,” Louis is probably not the first to come to your mind. So let’s brainstorm a bit to figure out how we can make him over so he’ll be seen by the media and Raymond Domenech.

Okay… Let’s see… Let’s try attitude. He could develop the “character of a pig.” Wait, no, Thierry Henry’s got that one covered. (Henry’s own words, folks, not mine.) Okay, then, he could be arrested for [allegedly] beating his pregnant wife? Nope, Djibril Cissé already took that one. He could be just plain bad-ass? Nope, that one’s Anelka’s.

Okay, let’s go for style. How about a new, creative hairstyle? Oh, no, that would belong to Cissé. And Cissé. And Cissé again. Best dressed? Sorry, that’s Thierry Henry. Top ten sexiest? Henry again.

Hmm… This is more complicated that I expected. Let’s see… I know! He could go on the European “Pimp My Ride!” Wait, no, Cissé already did that.

Okay. How about go for the sympathy vote by being the only missed penalty shot in an extremely important game? No, Trézéguet’s got that one covered.

Folks, we are striking out here. But there’s got to be something.

I know! He could pose for nude photos! Uh…. Nope. That would be Cissé again. (Careful with that link, folks. It’s arty and tasteful and doesn’t show anything, but he’s definitely naked enough to offend my eleven-year-old. Although here’s a reflection on my advanced age and family status: I looked at this picture and thought, “Wow. He has the longest thigh bone I’ve ever seen.” And then I found myself examining his hamstrings and quadriceps and trying to decide if he’s match fit. I am SO boring.)

But at any rate, I’m running out of ideas here, people. What do you think?

Oh, wait, one more possibility! France could play against the land of his forefathers, which would bring a lot of media interest, which would make the public insist that he play! I know, I know, that was Trézéguet vs. Argentina, but Argentina is over now.

Quick, Louis! Become Lithuanian!

France World Cup Blog RSS Feed

sandrahn

Laurie, you’re hilarious, thanks for doing this blog with such a wonderful sense of humor. I’m the defensive type when it comes to Les Bleus (they get routinely trashed by Brits, Americans and Italians and everyone else just for the crime of being French) that I sometimes forget to keep my sense of humor about them. You’re a great remedy for that.

As to poor Saha’s image (another favorite player of mine)…

hmm…Maybe it doesn’t help that he plays for the premier “proper English” club and that he’s part of the Rooney-Saha-C. Ronaldo triumvirate on that squad. Also didn’t help when he said recently that Rooney and C. Ronaldo are better than zizou because they run faster (well, he’s right, they do run faster than zizou, damn him–but they’re NOT better than zizou otherwise, Louis!).

By rights Domenech should’ve considered Saha before Flamini for the squad, since Saha is a critical part of the leading club in the Prem while Flamster’s a sometime player (a good one, I grant you) in 4th place Arsenal. But I guess Domenech’s satisfied with his striker triumvirate of Henry-Trez-Anelka. Too satisfied I think.

I guess he COULD be France’s answer to Craig Bellamy … but do we really want that? Cisse and Anelka are quite enuf on that score. Hmm…poor Louis…plays for the wrong club, is too damned nice and unassuming, dares to say that an Englishman and a Portuguese are better than zizou…

I guess the only thing for it is for Saha to start banging in those goals nonstop. Seems to be the only way Domenech will notice him.

One thing he has going for him is that he DOES pair well with Henry. Surely Domenech can’t minimize the importance of a fellow French striker who actually can WORK WELL with dearest melonheaded Henry!
http://france.worldcupblog.org Laurie

Thanks for the compliment, Sandra. My brain tends to store up all these trivial facts about players, and it’s fun sometimes to write a post where I can dump them all out with some humor. (It’s always nice to get feedback that somebody else gets the joke.)

I have to say, Saha activated my maternal zone with his worries on not being flashy enough, so now he’s inching past Trezeguet as a player I want to see succeed. (Yes, I have a short attention span.)