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Romania-France: A Quiz

   

You know when you were in junior high? And you were terrified to show your parents the D you got in Math? But when you got home, they’d just learned that your sister was pregnant?*

This is kind of like that. OR:

Thank GAWD for Italy.

* Laurie would like everyone to know that she does not have a sister.

And with that said, a little review of the Romania game, in quiz form:

1. “Romania-France highlights” are:
A. Available online
B. The ultimate cure for insomnia
C. An oxymoron.
D. All of the above.

2. Chelsea is:
A. The name of Hillary’s daughter
B. A coachless team in England
C. Where good French players go to die. (Makelele excepted, of course.)
D. All of the above

3. Alain Perrin is:
A. The winner of the domestic double
B. Jobless
C. The selfish bastard who ran Karim Benzema into the ground this season
D. All of the above

Math problem
4. Abidal@Barcelona + Malouda@Chelsea are
A. = (Abidal + Malouda)@Lyon
B. > (Abidal + Malouda)@Lyon
C. < (Abidal + Malouda)@Lyon
D. having nightmares about Evra and Ben Arfa
E. both C and D

5. The title of Domenech’s book is:
A: “Coaching: A Basic Refresher Course”
B. “Lighting a Fire Under Problem Employees”
C. “Is Zidane Really Happy in Retirement?”
D. “How to Change Careers in Mid-Life”
E. “Scoring for Dummies”
F. “Will She Still Love Me When I’m Unemployed?”

6. “Contra Tamas Goian Rat” is:
A. A frighteningly vicious new Amazon discovery
B. Currently being bred for laboratory experiments
C. The backline that did their best to deny our boys Euro glory

Essay Question
7. In 100 words or less, describe your feelings as you realized that your team’s “easy” game was going to end, at best, in a nil-nil draw.
BONUS WORDS: Frustrated, Devastated, Nauseated, Apoplectic, Alcoholic, Astrologic, Existential, Hedonistic, Bacchanalic, Catatonic.
DOUBLE BONUS WORDS: Karma, Beer.
TRIPLE BONUS PHRASE: Sympathy Sex.

Now wasn’t that cathartic?

Romania is done. I believe I’ve gotten this game out of my system. I’m ready to be an optimist again. We have the talent to do this!

Allez les Bleus!!


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  • set

    She has a brother? :D

  • ursus arctos

    Tres bien fait.

    One possible glimmer of hope for Francophiles is that Deco and Giovanni van Bronckhorst have already produced performances in this tournament that leave those of us who have suffered with them at Barca over the last several years wondering just who the imposters are.

    It just may be Abidal’s time . . .

    BTW, my suggestion is that Domenech is reading “Instructions for Agents: the latest from Rome, The Hague and Bucharest”.

  • -nickt.-

    laurie’s brother got pregnant? can see how that D was forgotten.

  • Doumé

    OK, as you said, time to look ahead!

    Looking at comments, I want to scream “Not SO Fast”. The Romanian defense was excellent, very disciplined and technical. They killed the pace of the game, cut the Left from the Right from the strikers. As a defense, they were absolutely better than Italy’s. As a team, they were better than Scotland, and we didn’t take a stupid goal.
    Yes they were beatable, I don’t understand why shots were so poor (Benzema). Ribery had no space, same for Nasri later. Anelka put up a good fight, and Malouda too actually, IMO despite what they all say. And no, Trez wouldn’t have done better, because he would have had no service. Basically, the pieces of the puzzle were not fitting together, and that was the kind of game where experience would have helped. Henry will play next time, for me it’s a given. The German press calls Domenech an “a**hole” for not using Ribery on the Left, where he does so well for Bayern. I think with a little shuffling, the puzzle might truly come together. There will be more space from now on, but also more danger on the defense.

    “TRIPLE BONUS PHRASE: Sympathy Sex.”
    I nominate the obvious candidate: Mathieu Flamini; Toulalan says, “I saw him as he was leaving again, right after lunch. It wasn’t easy. It’s the second time he leaves. But, frankly, he has a good mindset. He knew what we expected of him”
    …..awwww.

  • tomasz

    Who is pregnant?

  • http://france.worldcupblog.org Laurie

    Toulalan is genuinely a nice person, isn’t he?

    I haven’t had any luck in adopting Benzema. Maybe I’ll adopt La Toule instead.

    “TRIPLE BONUS PHRASE: Sympathy Sex.”
    I nominate the obvious candidate: Mathieu Flamini;

    And Kickette readers from around the world are raising their hands and screaming, “Me! ME! Oh! OH! PICK ME!!!”

  • sandrahn

    Laurie, the approach to take is the same one all Arsenal fans take against frustrating, negative, unimaginative small teams like Bolton who play anti-football: LOOK FORWARD TO PLAYING TEAMS WE KNOW HOW TO PLAY AGAINST VERY WELL — far superior teams to Bolton who play football, like the Dutch. France are like Arsenal. The Boltons of the world are able to eke out awful bore-draws from us, whereas we are very capable of playing good, strong games against Milan and Man United. (Yes, Arsenal drew once and lost twice v. MU last season but we beat them twice in the previous season). That’s why we gooners always look forward to playing strong teams who play football, whereas the small Birminghams of the world always make us nervous.

    Given France’s form under Domenech (the inability to break down defensive teams and the lack of scoring in open play), the 0-0 draw was very predictable. However, like you, I was surprised that France couldn’t even play some moments of pretty football even while being toothless up front.

    Up next France have two teams who play football and against whom they have good records. To describe Italy as exclusively negative and defensive is to stereotype them, that is not how they play.

    Of course much depends on Domenech making necessary changes to his formation.

    And yes, THANK GOD FOR THE DUTCH!!

  • Michel-Olivier

    5. The title of Domenech’s book is:”How to use astrology in football”

    if i was the coach my team would of been like this
    4-4-2
    coupet
    clerc/sagna-gallas-mexes-clichy
    ribery-toulalan/makelele(c)-flamini-nasri
    Trezegol–henry/benzi

  • http://lesbleusfrancefoot.wordpress.com/ jean pierre

    poor old steph. i watched the game with him and at the end of it he was steaming. STEAMING. and i simply couldn’t be upset. well, i was and i wasn’t. i was dissapointed and i was laughing.

    after all, what else can we do but laugh?

    ’cause its not as if it was a surprise. when has it ever been different?

    as someone who can vividly remember the frustrating qualification for euro 96, in which we drew with slovakia, romania, poland and israel (for what must be the twentieth time) this is all too familiar..

    we all hoped it would different against romania, but none of us who have followed france closely can be truly surprised.

    romania was always going to be the ordeal, the difficult one, the frustrating one. even if we won it would’ve been scrappy and ugly and we’d be sitting here 3 points to the good, but griping and worrying and scratching our heads about having to lift our game for holland.

    so, like you laurie, i’m just glad its over and done with. now we can look forward to holland and italy!

  • http://lesbleusfrancefoot.wordpress.com/ jean pierre

    and, regardless of what the dutch-italy game means for our chances, i’m just glad italy got roasted. it couldn’t have happened to a more deserving team.

  • Doumé

    Yes, Laurie,
    Good guy, good player, this Toulalan; he fought well. He’ll have his time. As they said in that 90’s show with Tim Allen, “do you know what time it is? It’s Toule-time!” bad pun but OK.

    Matthieu F, wherever you are, with whomever, I hope you’re finding well-deserved comfort and consolation ;)

    (although if I was him, I would have asked for some tickets for the games)(I think?)

  • ursus arctos

    France under Domenech are like Arsenal under George Graham.

  • http://poloniculmov.wordpress.com PoloniculMov

    What a boring match that was :) We Romanians thought that France was a team we could beat … but our performance was abysmal.

  • http://meuscotidievox.blogspot.com/ Andrei

    ahahahahahaha I love answer A to question #6! It’s good to know that the French can have good sense of humour in defeat (i mean draw). Hai Romania!

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