Find This Man a Club Before Somebody Gets Hurt!

Former players do all kinds of things to recapture the adrenaline rush of their footballing days.

Bixente Lizarazu surfs.

Barthez? Based on the pictures of him taken before he started playing again at Nantes, I don’t want to know.

Zizou? He so totally didn’t do what he was accused of doing. Which Voici got sued for printing pictures of. So I’ll shut up now.

And Vikash Dhorasoo seems to have turned to… Poker. Yes, poker. His name’s popping up all over the place in articles about French celebrity poker. Because pissing away the money you have when you’re no longer on the pitch making more? An excellent idea.

I was sent this Dhorasoo poker video, which for some reason yanks at my maternal heartstrings. He looks so…lost. And his joke falls flat. And…

Dammit, somebody find this man a club and save him from himself!

(I’ve seen rumors linking him to a move to Bolton or Livorno. So let’s cross our fingers.)