An American Fan Bows Down to the Footy Pirate gods

Today is the day when I will be bowing down in front of the Footy Pirate altar, getting ready to ritually sacrifice a soccer ball and a pair of shinguards in hopes that the Footy Pirate gods will smile on me tomorrow and allow me to watch the France-Greece game. (Okay, so technically the shinguards are no big sacrifice, because it’s the end of the soccer season and they smell funny. But I’m hoping it’s the thought that counts.)

As an American fan of an obscure (in the US) sports team, I love the Footy Pirates. (But please note that I am not necessarily recommending that you use them. Each time I visit their site my spyware detection program requires the Heimlich maneuver. Plus I’m thinking that the site is, like, kind of pretty much illegal. But desperate times, desperate measures, etc.)

The footy pirates usually come through for me. Sometimes they even give me a bonus, like the time they didn’t close out the France channel and I padded down to my computer at six the next morning and found myself watching Law & Order, dubbed in French. (I have no idea why this thrilled me so much.)

Sometimes, though, the Footy Pirates let me down. When I tried to watch the Dynamo Kiev-Lyon Champions League game a couple of weeks ago, I got the following message: “Sorry, but this video is not available from your country.”

Uh… ‘Scuse me? But you’re a TOTALLY illicit site. How can it be MORE illicit to show it in my country than others?

*Sigh*

Which is why we’re trying the ritual sacrifices. Because if they don’t work, I will be reduced to following this game on two or three liveblogs, and liveblogs can tell you only so much. Especially for this game, where all of the former World and European champions will be returning. Liveblogs are good at recording scores and penalties and basic factual stuff. But they can’t tell you much about the flow of the game, or how the players play together, or whether or not Bixente Lizarazu is still he-followed-me-home-can-I-keep-him adorable. (Shhh. Don’t tell my husband I said that.)

So tomorrow, oh blessed gods of Live Footy, please smile on me and my team.

And you can keep the shinguards.